Who makes a family?

When the peapod sees 4 dogs, she goes on to explain the biggest one is the "Dada Dog", the second in size is the "Mumma Dog", the smaller one is the "baby Dog" and the other dog is "S aunty dog". And then in an another instance when she is narrating a story about snakes, there is a Dada snake, a Mumma snake, a baby snake and S aunty snake. That to her is a family unit.

Like I have mentioned before, my cousin S lives with my mom. She is a good 10-12 years younger to me and she pampers the peapod no end. The peapod obviously by now has understood and identified every family unit with a father, mom and kids but S aunty didn't seem to be fitting in, with no uncle and kids to associate with. So untill S aunty finds a suitable uncle and the kids follow, S aunty will continue to be duly identified in every animal kingdom family in every story.

Bringing up Vasu - by Parul Sharma

I just finished reading "Bringing up Vasu - the first year" by Parul Sharma. For the initial 30 pages or so, I got pretty worked up thinking of what was coming my way. Peapod was a custom made child for me from the dear good lord. She wasn't much trouble, I pretty much slept peacefully and the only sore point was breast feeding, I mean the amount of it. It made me feel like a diary farm at times. Though I have seen my sisters suffer night after night walking half asleep trying to pacify a baby that is crying for no reason as it may seem. I have slept through it all, yeah I have had a good life and its scary..at 34 I am not sure my patience is getting any better. So anyway, after every page or paragraph I was getting on to all kinds of "what-if" scenarios. It took me a good week or more to begin reading it continuously. The book has Parul's humour about life. I could very easily identify with the wanna-be super yummy mom Mira. I mean that is all the spice there is to life at times. I loved all the characters, Anand, Mira's mom, PnX and the two friends. The book is full of funny smart lines and had me laughing once I got over the paranoia of what is coming.

What I would have loved more in the book, is a little more substance in the suspense piece, a few twists and turns that would have me looking forward to how Mira would sort it all out. I love Parul's style of writing and there are times when Mira reminds me of Becky Bloomwood from the Shopaholic series. Its a nice funny read and if you aren't expecting you can enjoy it all at Mira's expense.

Granny and the grand daughter

Dora the explorer is aired everyday on one of the mallu channels at 5, for half an hour. Most days, 60% of the time, the electricity in our area goes off exactly when the peapod has had her milk, plonked herself on the couch, ready to watch her favourite character Dora go on a new adventure. Sometimes she gets a 5-10 mins show at the beginning or end of it. The few days I was home, I realized how she looks forward to that 1/2 hr program. So when the electricity goes kaput and I see the disappointment on the peapod's face my heart sinks. I told P about it. We talked about how we have looked forward to stuff when we were kids and the disappointment that followed for whatever reasons, sometimes it would be because we have guests and so can not go anywhere near the TV or the electricity or some such thing. These little disappointments teach us valuable lessons about life. We learn to deal with it. We learn to still look forward and not give up hope. Yeah so us parents sat and discussed the philosophies of life and decided against buying a dvd or a cd. So as parents, we had made our peace with the situation.

Now ofcourse we do not see her bawl every day when the light goes off so we can write thesis on philosophies of life. But the grand mother sees this everyday. Sees the disappointment and the broken heart everyday and she can not bear to write it off as some philosophies of life though she would not restrain from giving hours of lectures on life to her daughters mind you. For the past month, she has been asking me to tell the watchman to switch on the generator if the light goes off anytime between 5-5:30. Ofcourse, that made no sense. The generator was only to be used after dark. Generator at 5pm was definitely not happening. Mom hounded me a thousand times, she did not understand why can't we make a special request. It took her a month to realize I wasn't going to go anywhere with her request. Both the granny and the grand daughter have tried asking the watchman to start the generator, which he would do thinking they needed to use the elevator and would turn it off in an another 5-10 mins. So that plan didn't quite work out. So a week back, again after the lights went off exactly at 5, my mom asked me to write to asianet or surya, whichever the channel, and ask them to change the show timings. I looked at her to check if she was serious. She explained that she had seen on one of the programs called "letters to the producer" or sort that they did change the timing of a program based on request from the people. I am not doing any of this crazy stuff, I yelled. It is just a little program after all. Yesterday it seems the lights went off again and she got as irritated as the peapod. This time the request was to call up MSEB and tell them to change load-shedding timings. I wanted to laugh, but realized she was damn serious.

I had reasons for not buying a CD or a DVD very specific to peapod. I wasn't thinking the granny angle at all. So I didn't see the effect it was having on my mom. She is getting crazier ideas by the day. I think I better get the Dora CD and put my mom's idea-generating machinaries to some rest. Lessons on life for the peapod we will take up at convenience latter.

I had a little talk.....

.....with the little monkey inside. This morning while I waled to office.

lm: Hi there!!!!
me: Hi (tired climbing the stairs)
lm: so are you planning to send some food down here or just planning to starve me
me: ha!! You sound so much like your father.
lm: so the answer is...
me: will you let me keep something inside without throwing everything right back up
lm: I can try but seriously, what is that stuff you eat?
me: forget what that was, tell me what is it that you want
lm: tangy, bitter will do for now and I will try to behave
me: hmm ..I already knew that.
lm: love you and take care and tell that screaming monkey outside, I am not one bit scared.
me: love you and I will convey the message.

So finally I had a decent lunch in months, today. A little talk helps.

Thanks for all the wishes

I can not get to my blog or the comments section in office and I do not have a internet connection at home(having one didn't help either) and so I couldn't thank each one of you who dropped by to wish me. The last time 1 or 2 of you actually commented here was when I announced that I was carrying the peapod. So ofcourse, since this would be my last stint at the conceiving business, I am not sure when I would hear from you again. So I had to make a separate post just to tell you, each and every "congratulations" has touched my heart.

The nausea is still on. While I am not throwing up all over the place but the continuous queasy feeling can bring anybody to tears. Of all the things I hate my cooking. The last time I told P about getting a maid, he praised my culinary skills to the sky and said he has noticed the improvement in my speed and multi-tasking abilities. Since I was busy enjoying all that niceties he was saying, I forgot my arguments and so we are stay put.

I have realized kitchen intelligence is a completely different expertise. The ability to plan a saturday breakfast on thursday or latest by friday morning so that you can soak the necessities and grind it by evening so that it can sour sufficiently by sat morning is so so so beyond me. I can not even plan the next day's breakfast and so never get to soak any lentils in time. I just plan the hour. On most days I am awake by 6:30, lying in bed and that is when I am thinking what do I make now . When I get back home by 7:45 - 8pm, that is when I am thinking so what is for dinner. So no meal is ever elaborate. Saturday and Sunday are solely for rest. Slogging in the kitchen over meals is not my idea of rest.

I have always been in awe of houses with a bawarchi(cook). I so love the idea of sitting at home and saying things like "Ramu kaka, aaj aloo pakode khaane ka bada dil kar raha hai" or "Saheb ke liye roti aur baigan bharta bana dijiye aur hum mirchi-pakoda khayege"(See how filmy I get addressing the non-existant bawarchi, perfect hindi too..nahi?). To me that is the ultimate luxury.

Someday when I can still stay sane and argue when P is weaving his magic by praising my culinary skills to the sky, I will get our own bawarchi.

Belated but still a Happy Father's Day

This morning I got a call from my sis at around 7:30am. The moment I saw her name flashing I knew what it was. There is only one thing of utmost importance that can not wait untill the morning madness is over for either of us to tell each other on a very ordinary day. It is about dreaming Dad. If either of us remember a dream that featured dad and specially if he said something relevant to the current happenings in the family, like kids beginning school, or about the new baby or about anything we consider special like buying a house or starting a new job it has to be conveyed immediately. We also query the dreamer about what he was wearing, where was he,your place or mine and kinds. This is a very normal conversation between us. We sometimes discuss what he said at length as if he made that comment to us in flesh and blood. Sometimes we shed a tear or two, other times we laugh at some weird stuff he is so capable of. We discuss him like he actually came visiting us and not like a fragment of our imagination. My sisters see him more often than I do and they tell me that must be because I am just so forgetful. So he actually has to go to my sisters to tell me he is happy for me. So this morning he just appeared to my sister and asked if the kids are going to school. Ofcourse kids here mean both the jellybean and peapod since they both started nursery last week. And that acknowledgement in our dreams we assume is his blessings for the kids. It is quite possible that at anything new in life we think of him and it just materializes into images in our subconscious minds. Mom even adds at times "I saw him very clearly this time".

Its been 4 years since he passed away but he is a constant presence in our lives. He lead a good life and gave us one, as long as he could. When days got tough, he toiled it out as well. He could get unreasonable at times and pretty stubborn too. He had a bad temper as well. But he was an absolutely loving man and I am damn proud to be his daughter.

I was(still am) a Daddy's girl and I can see the peapod go the same way too. Every time I and P are arguing or even discussing, I am the one who gets the flak from the peapod, sometimes even when I am at the receiving end of an argument. She starts out by telling me not to shout at Dada and then in a few mins would come by to tell me in no uncertain terms to shut up. While I am seeing red at such times, I know that is how it is going to stay so I better make my peace with it. Throughout life, every time my parents argued, 99% of the time my mom had a valid point, but we girls ultimately ended up defending Dad. And specially me of the 3 of us. I have given my mom some tough times. So its probably payback time and I better prepare myself for it.

So it is a belated Happy Father's day indeed, to mine as well as the peapod's.