Adira Woman

I received an email from Adira woman to showcase their product on Enigma and I am happy to, since it is about providing comfort to the women folks during their period.

Staining and the fear of staining makes those 5-7 days  of the month the most anxiety high timeframe for women. Especially heavy bleeders are forever scared of getting up without a cover and are always guarding their moves. Every chance of a mirror or a girlfriend nearby isn't spared. Especially during school days every games period or physical training class there are a bunch of girls who have excused themselves in the name of 'monthly problem'. As a kid I found it very embarrassing to stand out and let the whole class know I have my periods. I rarely check with friends too but I was always scared of staining and not having the comfort of asking others put me under double the stress. Its the constant fear at the back of your mind. A lot has improved since the time I was in school and started with cottons to the latest pads. Pad companies like Whisper and She do promise a stain free period but nevertheless they do stain.

Adira women's special period panties promises a stain free period and more than the older women who are tuned into their body, I think it will be a boon to young girls. This product of theirs is an international patent pending product.

Adira has offered a 15% discount to all Enigma readers, if you mention so. Mention "Enigma" as your coupon code when buying online.

My Wishlist for Pune

Have you read Sidin's wishlist for the next government here yet? If not, Please do.

Here is my wishlist for the next candidate in Office for a city I have come to love very dearly. Pune will be my kids home town and it better be a good one.


Improved Infrastructure.

1. Roads - The last 3-4 years the one story any local paper could carry and thrash the
government was about the condition of our roads. Lack of any new news, pressed for
time, any journalist could click a few shots on their way to work and an article can be
ready just like that. Come monsoon and every well laid road (so to speak)
start to wither away like leaves in fall. So the one thing I expect to see in the next term of
the Pune corporation is WIDE ROADS. Build the infrastructure for better connectivity
between places. And I am sure there is a quicker way to build a 1 km stretch of an over
bridge without the construction spanning over your term in office and inconveniencing us
poor commuters everyday of our lives. In the last couple of years the work done on the
bombay-pune stretch in the PCMC area is commendable. That was neat. What once took an hour takes just about 20-25 mins now. How cool is that? The Pune muncipal corporation needs to pull up its socks and get going. A lot of internal roads are in a pathetic condition as well.

2. Pedestrian path - Roads should not just end where the mortar stops flowing. Build
concrete pathways on either side of the roads for people to walk. We don't want vehicles to spill
over on to the sideways and nor do we like the idea of walking on the roads praying nothing hits us. Give it a little structure, paint it yellow/black - white/balck whatever is the colour code. So that we know for sure who needs to stay where.

3. Bicycle lane - Add a bicycle lane EVERYWHERE. We have way too many people
riding bicycles on our roads and they are so not safe what with lack of any safety
measures. When you decide to build bicycle lanes, make sure you give them continuity
because the city does have bicycle lanes on some roads and then it simply dissappears on
the next road. Not sure what that was suppose to mean - hop , skip and cycle, is that what
you meant?

4. Public transport - We live in a rental but we have 2 cars. The only reason people like
us have 2 cars before we buy a house is because that is the only convinient and
economical way to commute in the city. Cannot afford to trust the "once in a while"
buses on the route or the rickshaw wallas who will ask for a full return/double return
without blinking an eyelid. You have talked about the metro for 8+ years now. I first read
about it when I was single and very new to Pune. It gave me a lot to dream about this
city. I moved from single to married to 2 kids and that metro is still a very very distant
dream. It gets dusted and restyled with a new fancy photo everytime anybody uttered the
word mordernization. I really don't care if its the metro or the extension of the railways or
a few hundred new buses on the road. Anything that can ensure safety and are quick and
economical way to reach my destination. I have read that your teams are done visiting
Ahmedabad(BRT) and Delhi(metro) and are now visiting foreign locations to study a
good transport system for the city. I say stop wasting my money. Tour the city to give it a
good transport system.

5. Parks and Gardens. I am not sure if there is a rule regarding the proportion of gardens/
parks to the population in x km radius. If there is, it is a very skewed one in Pune. The
real-estate business is booming and builders are busy selling tall towers with really no
space for kids to run around. The little space that they sell as the garden is quite
insufficient and is pretty only in print. The PMC & PCMC should ensure a healthy ratio
of general Garden/Parks to Population in a given area. We need something of a garden
city movement in Pune before its too late. I really feel very strongly about this. A Park
should be available at 10-15mins walk from anywhere in the city. Is that too much to
ask? Our kids need to play and where else can they kick a ball high enough so that it isn't
hitting someone's car or bike or not breaking into people's house and also not subjecting
older folks to a lot of yelling and shouting every evening or every holiday.

6. Rivers - The mula-mutha rivers flow through out the city. Many bridges in the city are

Mula-Mutha river

built over it. Clean them up. Stop using them as dumping grounds even for the ganesh
festivals. It would be such a wonderful sight to see them all cleaned up with walls built
tall to demarcate the banks. How beautiful would that make this city. A riverview address
wouldn't then necessarily mean foul smell and mosquitoes but indeed the view of the
serenely flowing mula-mutha river. Another tourist attraction maybe. A girl can dream right.
Have seen half-hearted efforts in many pockets in the city but that isn't enough.



7. Protect our hills and trees of Pune - Pune is very well located admist the ghats. It is

Purple Sunbird

surrounded by hills and there are many roads that are well shaded by trees that are atleast
a 60-100 years old. We need to preserve our greens and our hills. Do not let the crazy real
estate guys, greedy to make a quick buck, raze down trees and the hills without a good
reason. Pune is home to a variety of birds and also has seen quite a number of migratory
birds fly in and out. Morning on our balcony is quite a treat where we can sip on tea/
coffee and watch birds in all sizes and colours come dance around on the tree in front of
us. I regret not having a decent SLR camera to capture them.  We need to keep the
synergy of of the green and concrete alive.

Efficient Systems

8. Waste management - There is filth running over many roads of Pune. We need a whole
lot more fixed dustbins on the roads and a system and process where they are collected
every single day. Even in prominent areas of the city garabage is found overflowing from
dustbins right at the gate of many huge societies. The term 'Waste management' also
involves the process of whatever happens to the waste that is collected and dumped.
Again I wonder if privatization is an option here. The way it works now, it isn't in the
least bit sufficient or efficient.

9. Need a grieveance addressal number - A number that I can call to report overcharging
rickshaw-wallas. A number I can call to report a pot hole in the middle of a road. A
number I can call to remind officials to switch off the street lights in the morning and to
report street lights that aren't working. A fallen tree should not take a week to be
dismantled and cleaned up. A system that can track a problem/issue to closure.

10. Stray animals - The one thing that gets me mad is foreigners asking me about
elephants and camels walking the streets of India making it sound like a scene right out of
Indiana Jones. A lot of this we take for granted when we live in India but ideally these
animals are not supposed to be on the roads. Why the hell is an elephant or a camel
walking city roads?? Is there no law against that? Don't we need one? Why are herds
crossing city roads and shitting all over as they parade? I think the corporation needs to
start addressing them and I hope the solution will not require herds of cows and sheeps
and goats cross city roads at all and specially during peak hours.

Mula mutha picture courtesy - http://rummuser.com/?p=6182
Purple Sunbird picture courtesy - http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/category/birds/

Of Colour and Foliage

Right after the kids if I love anything as dearly, its got to be my darling garden. Every morning I have to check on it and sometimes when I do not have the time Ijust go take a peek for a couple of seconds. Its like inhaling the colour and beauty of it or like having some revitalizing drink you know. While I am no expert on gardening but I am learning as I go and still have a list of things I want to try out. Birdbath is one the items on my list. We get a lot of birds near where we live. Its quite a nice to just sit on our balcony and watch them on the tree close to our apartment. My only problem with building a birdbath is I am not sure to handle the droppings. Once I figure it all out, I am so building a birdbath. Anyway, here are a few pics without much ado.



My Love




My rose bush




Coelus and the Fern




Early days - 2 years back



To be a child

What it must be to be a child who wakes up from her sleep, smiling and then to be lost in thought while she goes about her morning business to forget to call Mumma to wash her. On being checked, she smiles again shyly and her eyes are sparkling with endless possibilities. I can tell, the girl is dreaming. I love that look. And then she tells me she wants to go to "Dholakpur", still smiling shyly. I did not first get it, since it was not on the list of 50 places I want to visit before I die. What?? You don't think I have a list like that. Oh sure I do. It has been categorized too ..with the family, just the two of us, with friends/cousins and the last category is where I would like to go alone. Does it matter, if its just in my head. Its only a matter of putting it down in black and white. someday. Anyway, back to Dholakpur. I asked her why Dholakpur...I have never heard of a place like that. She smiled shyly and said its a secret....and she whispered "Bheem called me to Dholakpur". Aah!! ok, now that explains. And then we talked some more about if Dholakpur is real and if she can join the Bheem clan. I did not have the heart to tell her its not real. I am sure she knows its not real at some level. But she is just spinning it in her head and seeing it with her eyes closed and the spark in her eyes tells me...its still there, spinning in her head. The fun of living in a dream and believing in endless possibilities is what makes a child.

She is getting a lot more verbose these days and her vocab is improving too. It also includes lines like 'kya re' and  'you mad or what'. Y/d evening when P whacked chattambi, she yelled back saying "if you have to hit him then why did you make him". Ahem. Chattambi, generally is reprimanded very often these days for kicking the ball so high that the TV screen, the frames on the wall, the mirror are all in danger of surviving the hour before he goes to sleep. His idea of playing with water is to add a couple of more bowls and utensils and then throw it over his head, messing his clothes, the bedsheets, the carpet and spilling water at unexpected places in the house. I have slipped on these quite a few times and hit my leg and bums at unflattering angles. Throws stuff to such lengths that will latter require something close to an excavation routine to pull things back from under/behind the little furniture we have. He runs off with something from the kitchen to create a mess else where. So these days he is on the receiving end of both our wraths. The peapod more often than not hates to see him cry and she yells at us when we are busying whacking him. Even if we give him a timeout on the bed, she rescues him from there or will play with him there for a few quite mins. They do play togather quite a bit actually but they usually end up at loggerheads. I have to continually remind the peapod to teach the chattambi to play with her as in include him in, tell him what to do and give him a chore. Yeah everything I can not do, I ask her to do. Wise ah :). Right now he is at a stage that he would oblige because he doesn't get the concept of turns and playing togather and he is more than willing to try new things and make her happy. But if she sounds irritated or complains then the toys will be tossed around and the make-do roof will fold up and the floor will suddenly look like a tornado just passed.

At Pune University

Add caption

She began skating about 6 months back. She was pretty slow and that balance thing wasn't easy to her and she hated being last in the class when they skated around and she hated she just couldn't lift her leg and push ahead. We kept at it and she is getting better. Infact 3 months after she joined skates, she had her first fall and the instructor said as much. She is too careful and too defensive. She wouldn't pick up pace because she feared she would fall. She didn't like the idea of being laughed at. I have had to tell her a number of times, it does not matter if she falls and other kids laugh, the important thing is to learn to skate. Every time a kid fell and everyone laughed including her, I had to point out that 'see its ok ..everybody laughed and then moved on'. There is no need to sulk. She is better now. She laughs along when she falls now. She can see the humour in it. Dust your bums and get moving. She doesn't seem to have inherited her father's sport gene but her mom's non-sporty gene. She can't kick a ball half as well as Chattambi and such. But she wanted to skate and she has stuck around for 6 months and I can see the benefits. Its not just about learning to skate, which she is enjoying but also letting go your fears and listening to and watching others to improve. Its a huge thing. Its slow but a steady progress. Last summer I had enrolled her for swimming and while she enjoyed the pool and floating in it and could swim with her tube on she was terrified of the prospect of jumping into the pool and going under water. Towards the end of the class her instructors were forcing her to jump and she came to hate it. This summer I do plan to take her swimming again but she is already telling me she doesn't want to. I want her to get over her fear and learn swimming. Its in my mind an essential skill and I think she will more than just learn swimming when she does. Need to get her to dream about swimming now so that we can get going during summer.

A couple of weeks back I had done a piece(ahem!) for womens web. Pls check it out here. Puneites can go and add more in the comments sections. There are other bloggers as well who have talked about their own city.

To 7 years of Love and companionship and for 7 more

Last week we completed 7 years of married life and this is the first anniversary post. Reasons are plenty, I am generally on leave during christmas week and I hardly use the laptop at home. After 7 years and after umpteen ups and downs, I think I can comfortably say we have found our equilibrium. Yeah we both have matured enough not to take a random remark and run away with it into the past alleys. We are not the romantic couple and we don't do romance the material way. As in the gifts and surprises and the works MBs are made of but let me just say we have our ways. The flowers come sometimes on an unsuspecting day for no reason at all though they have never come on a birthday or anniv. He charges my cellphone. Somedays he even puts it in my bag. He even carries my bag if I am having a bad day. He ensures I don't leave the house in my slippers. He reminds me of stuff I have asked him to remind me days ago. He even gives my head a good massage when it aches and so on. Small stuff here and there and it matters.


We have moved from the "trying to talk to the other and see the other's POV" to talking to self and understanding our own POV, since the "other" doesn't listen anyway. He is the ambitious, focused and a totally idealistic goat and I am the Gemini whose focus is on way too many things/subjects and certainly not an idealist by a long shot. Maybe a very very long shot. Maybe not even then. We often joke, marriages got be made in heaven because how on earth can anybody put two of us togather and scribble "May no man seperate what God put togather" on our invitation cards - yeah right. We have pulled off this gig this far quite ok and I hope we'll be better off in the years to come. 7 years of marriage, 2 wonderful kids, handful of travels and umpteen experiences, as a couple we have come a long long way.

I love to travel, he prefers TLC to actually sweating it out. I love fiction and he loves encyclopedia. He is a foodie and loves his food nicely and rightly spiced. I have become a better cook trying to conjure up stuff to challenge his taste buds. While he says pretty much nothing, but the kind of silence tells me, how it was. And if he even as much as whimpers something unpleasant about something I toiled an hour for, he would get a earful. I am a sore looser. But everytime I am in the kitchen, I am upto the challenge :). He is punctual and does not like last minute hurry and furry and I kind of pretty much manage "on time" at the last minute. So if we were to go out some place at 10 in the morning, he would be ready dot 9:30 with car keys in one hand and the lock in the other, with the door wide open. And I would still be in my nightie and the breakfast would still be on the stove and there will be atleast a dozen items minimum I need to accomplish before I can make my way out of that door he is holding. More often than not, I rush out of that door in my slippers and then go back for the change in footwear, my cell and that lip gloss and that purse and that spare tiffin. We have had, I am not sure how many arguments about time and timming. These arguments have now moved from heated arguments to routine arguments like one would say "Good morning" or "Thank you". He is an introvert who does leisure very well and likes his space and I am an extrovert and love people and chatter.

He is the new age father. He is as involved with the kids as I am. He teaches the peapod on some days and I do the rest. He teaches her to colour, paint and count odd/even numbers. He plays football with the kids, while I ferry the peapod around for classes, parties, practise and the kinds. He reads to the chattambi, he bathes them, entertains them, disciplines them. He is the one to fuss over a little cold or cough. He feeds them as well based on how easy it is and if they are in the mood. He overestimates the kids and I underestimate them. As soon as the peapod learnt her numbers he was the one trying to teach her addition and subtraction. And I didn't realize she knew the numbers 50-100 untill she started spelling them out for me. Atleast 15mins is dedicated to the debate of the day every single day. We both love a good argument and a good debate. Since nothing noteworthy is left to be debated on the home front these days, we debate on national issues and debate about people who are debating. The chalk and cheese couple we are, you can bet we always end up against each other and are never on the same side except for cricket and that too when India is playing any other country. Any other game, it needs to be said - we are always cheering opposite teams. And also I am the one shouting and clapping at the fall of a wicket or a boundary, he just has a smile for about half a sec. If he switches off the TV while the match is on, yes that means Tendulkar is out and there is no hope. So he is more of a silent and calm person unlike me who is loud and pompous.

One of the test of a relationship, I have read, is to know if you look forward to getting back home after a day at work or are you just dilly-dallying at work or outside and try to get in as late as possible. If that is any indicator then we are going pretty strong because even if we are sulking we are back home at the earliest possible. And conversation is plenty. There is no dearth of topics... politics, cricket, religion, church, school, kids, books, places, people and so on. I wouldn't say we contribute 50-50 to this partnership, its mostly 60-40, some days I am the 40 and the other days he is. We just pick off where the other left off and get on. Not always but lets say mostly.

He hates me putting up his snaps on my blog. So guess what, I am going to showcase some of his paintings today in the order in which he started painting them over the last 2-3 years. I wish he would do more. I have framed a couple of them to adore our walls.

Happy New Year and Resolutions for 2012

So the time has come to bid 2011 a grand farewell. It was an ok year over all. But I wish for a much better year 2012. So my resolutions for 2012 are


1. Loose 5 kgs and maintan it by Dec 2012. While I did manage to loose weight early last year I couldn't maintain it. Wish this was one of those items you could just check off your list and leave it there.

2. Grill more and extend the home menu. Include a few more stuff that can be made more often and not remain the one time tried and loved recipe.

3. Want to be more socially active and that does not mean meeting more parents of kids who are as boring or even more boring than me.

4. Kick some a$$ at work. While the first half of last year was fun, the second half just sucked. Find something challenging.

5. If we manage to extend the current rental, then I am making a wall full of frames. Whatever arguments the hubby comes up with, I am so going ahead with hammering atleast half a dozen nails on that hallway wall.

6. Travel North. Pls lord, make this happen this year.

Anyway,

Source: Pinterest

Happy Birthday Chattambi

My christmas boy turned 2 yesterday. We started the day with the presents under the tree. He ofcourse had no interest in any of those presents but the peapod went all gung-ho and claimed she saw santa come in her dream, drop presents and she woke up and thought it was just a dream after all. Last year we started this tradition of putting gifts under the tree. While we tried selling the santa story to a 4yr old then, it was evident in her surprise early morning that she hadn't bought the story from us like a innocent 4yr old should. But she was pleasantly surprised. I pulled out one of my new winter socks early last week to find some paper in one which read - peapod is a good girl, chattambi is a bad boy. I realized that was her note to santa to influence his lists of naughty and nice. She was totally edgy waiting for the dawn of christmas day. We bought a few gifts and I left it in the car. We woke up at 1 or was it 2, to go to the car and carry the gifts up to the tree. I actually feared she might just get up in the middle of the night and catch us in the act because that is exactly what she was plotting the whole week. She even wanted to sleep on the sofa to keep a watch. But that didn't happen since santa kept her busy in her dreams :). We went for Christmas mass early morning and my little boy slept through most of it. And then we had an elaborate christmas breakfast and Lunch. While we didn't plan for a party for chattambi this time, my cousins and the kids had come down and we pretty much had a blast :).


Dearest Chattambi,

You were a surprise package that arrived one nice Christmas morning. And you have brought such love and warmth into this pack with that glint of mischief in your eyes, your sunshine smile, your amazing naughtiness, your laughter, the way you imitate your father and call me chunni and sometimes even your need to cling to me. While I have always thought having a daughter would have been easier since your mom is one, 2 sisters to her credit and we already had your sister, we could have had dolls and doll houses and mini kitchen going parallel to ours and ofcourse both could go to the same school and stuff you know. Boys, ofcourse I didnt know much about. Girls I knew I had to raise them to be strong, good education, loving, generous, be really good friends, watch out for the bad boys, teach them about strangers, develop their antennas about bad touch, to learn to stay safe, fight unnecessary customs, follow their heart, be a feminist, Claim your rights and generally just do well and be happy. Boys were who I was supposed to mentally classify as good and bad and influence my girls to stay away from the bad ones.

In 2 years I have kind of figured out not much is different there. I want the same things for you that I want for your sister. I want to raise you to be the good guy, mothers like me dont mind seeing their daughter with. So I leave you with a few rules in no specific order.

1. Build bonds slowly and may that then last a lifetime.

2. Study. Education is everything. Knowledge is the only thing nobody can take away and you gain new insights everytime you share.

3. Read. Read. Read. They take you places, you meet different people, different aspects of different societies, sometimes you savour the writing, sometimes the story, sometimes the notes in italics, sometimes a few scenes keep playing back, sometimes the funnies make you laugh long after and sometimes your imagination runs off with a few lines.

4. Pray. We come from a family that strongly believes in it and celebrates it. I hope to give both of you that gift of believing in the Bible.

5. Respect Women, be kind to the old and keep an eye on the little tots(doesn't matter who they belong to). A very close friend once told me, a sign of a gentleman is one who lets old men, women and kids pass/cross even when he is in a hurry. And its never too early to be one.

6. Keep your promises. Make few and promise only what you plan to keep.

7. Hug and kiss your grandparents everytime you meet them. Get them flowers, chocolates and a bottle of horlicks(when you get older) even if they say -"oh what will we do with them".

8. Never ever do drugs or even smoke. I will kick your a$$ if I ever get to know and your father will kick some more.

9. Play. cricket, football, basketball, hockey whatever it is that takes your fancy. But get yourself dirty on the ground. That is where you should learn your lessons about winning, loosing and teamwork.

10. Learn to dance. Its a nice way to loosen up and if you learn the moves you can do it looking good.

Here is wishing you a long, loved, healthy and happy life.

Love
Your smitten Mumma

I leave you with a few pics of the year that went by

Twigs and leaves - his favourite picks

sneaking up on us

Loving his cousin brother

Negotiating with baby sis spoils from Ammachy's kitchen

Pick and read about anywhere