Poppins recently wrote a very nice post on milestone envy. Here is my experience.
There is this family friend we visit once in a while. They have 2 kids, one a school goer and the second a good 4 months older than Joyce. Ever since Joyce was born, the mother & the grandmom have been proding me about what I feed her. For a good 4 months it was just milk and you would think, that was easy. No, but they would ask me,
"Did you give her water"
"Not even in this heat"
"When you run errands, what do you give her"
"nothing, I just plan accordingly"
"How about formula"
"how many times"
and so on, an another visit in a months time, we have the same line of questions. A regular call and the same line of questions. I am questioned, my mil, my mom, P all are questioned in one way or the other and almost one after the other, probably in a different location in the same house. Solid food started and the number of questions rose exponentionally. Now this is how it goes
"So what do you give her"
"pretty much everything"
"what do you give her in the morning"
"whatever we are having for bfast"
"what do you have for breakfast"
sensing I have to go through this, "she has porridge followed by roti"
"what time does she get up"
"when do you leave"
"so within 2 and 1/2 hours she has both"
"then mom takes over"
"so next when does she have food"
"not sure maybe around 10"
"what do you give her at 10"
"anything? do you give her fruits?"
............and then ofcourse "do you give fish/meat/milk/soya bean"
This is an excerpt from a real conversation. This was continued till dinner with every little detail she could extract. Other than the fact that this conversation is boring & tiresome, it is very disturbing to have to provide the minutest detail of my child's day at gun point even if its not the least bit harmful.
This is the same conversation I have with the mother everytime I meet her, be it at home, at a marriage, at a function, at church and at the end of it I don't want to be anywhere within 10km radius of where she is.
I am a first time mother and one would think I should be more curious to know what people feed their kids. I am very comfortable with the feeding business. I give her everything we have if it isn't very spicy. I offer her everything I feel she can have and having mom or mil around helps since it gives me the confidence that I am not messing around big time.
I can understand the curiosity of a first-time mom or a mom ready to start solids, I also enquire, but in a very complacent manner and I don't go enquiring at (what seems like) guns-point style. I discuss how-to-wean, how-to-potty-train etc etc but that is because I am not there yet. This sounds more like "Do you feed your child something that I havent noticed or I don't know". I am disappointed for her because I haven't discovered anything that grows only in our balcony on the planet to ensure her she is on track playing James Bond with me. P tells me its just something to talk about. Maybe. Maybe motherhood does that to people. I am sorry to complain but it is not very easy to handle the tons of questions I tell you. Maybe it is also because I am under tremendous pressure(which I hate) while answering her, waiting for her to tell me, oh but thatz not good at all (after all that 'I am comfortable' jazz) or that is so unhealthy(God forbid).