Like Poppin's mom and moppet's mom, this is just a rant and there is no point here again.
I am not sure since when I have been thinking of how well can I manage & balance my home and work equation. Probably from the time I conceived my little peapod I have been thinking what is the best thing to do.Every time somebody as much as sneezes about SAHM/WM thing I get all worked up and then I am wondering if I have my priorities set right or am I just going with the flow? Am I neglecting or am I missing out on peapod?
Work, I must. No questions about it. We don't have inheritance lying around us for a rainy day. I don't have anybody to lend me a hand(with paper mints) when I need. Infact I want to be there for them without having to stretch my hands in front of P for it. Between me & P we are just earning enough. I don't want to live a hand-to-mouth life. I want a good spacious place to stretch myself, to let the peapod play around, to run in and out of it. I want a good neighbourhood. I want to be able to indulge my peapod once in a while with something, maybe an interesting toy, even if it is a wee-bit expensive. I want a decent school for the peapod.I want to provide the peapod with good education. We would like to go on small vacations far and near with peapod . I want to be able to indulge myself and family without saving for months & years. I don't want to run begging for money when someone in the family is ill. 10 years down the line I want financial security. So there is not a question about me not working.
I left peapod home at 4 months when I started working. Initial weeks wasn't easy, it wasn't meant to be anyway. But as I said, SAH was never an option. When I started off my new term in office after the peapod, I had 2 options, stay around, get your annual increments, work 9-6 and things will be smooth. Soon good work came my way, I got involved and recognition came in too. After my appraisal last year which went very well for the 4 months I was associated with it but I wasn't offered anything more in terms of responsibilities. When I discussed this with my manager, he said he thought I was happy the way it was and assumed I wouldn't like to shoulder more responsibilities since it might mean hectic work schedule and some travel as well. I was confused after this discussion. Many rounds of discussion with P and I finally decided that since I am working, I might as well compete tooth and nail and take on more because that is the only way working is gonna be interesting. Negotiated my role and responsibilities keeping travelling at bay. If not, this would just have been some place where I warm the seat 9 to 6 and from where the money comes in. But if I am here 8-9 hours a day, might as well give it my best.
Now my current firm isn't very big on work-from-home options due to a lot of security issues. Worked fine for me but at the back of my mind I was preparing myself to join some place that gives me the flexibility to work from home. Again, I need to think over what I want and how involved I need to be and to groom myself for the profile I have in mind. While all this is brewing in my head, I have been taking a few conference calls from home. Usually 8pm, a time when I should be tending peapod, I should be cooking, cleaning etc etc. An hour long call wasn't easy. Peapod wasn't very happy about the fact that I was yapping away or tuned into somebody other than her. She wanted water,dudhu,app while I was trying to concentrate on what was going on. I got her water, a few biscuits, a few toys to keep her occupied. she wasn't satisfied and kept tugging at me and the cell and finally I handed her over to P and shut the door. She was mad and was howling and hitting the door real hard. Finally I went on mute, with the loud speaker on and had also locked my keypad. Got her in and obviously she wanted to play with the cell, which I let her trying to follow the discussion as closely as possible. 2 such calls in a week and I am not sure working from home is after all such a neat option. I cannot concentrate on work nor can I tend to her completely.
Working from home full time surely is not possible with a child, then might as well be at work, a different premise I mean and concentrate. Else be at home and tend to the peapod which obviously I don't have the luxury to and even if I had I am not sure how I would do without working myself up. So finally what we have is work part-time from home. The pay is down by half and the hours you might have to put in, I am not sure if 4 hours a day would be sufficient. Saturdays and Sundays, I do not have more than an hour or 2 to myself. I might as well stretch then than get on to my laptop (so that explains fewer posts inspite of the laptop). To manage 4 hours a day to concentrate and work I will need a maid, to clean, cook and to run after my peapod.Could be one or two with half the pay. So I doubt if work-from-home is a good option for people in my stream of work.
Currently, to me, for me, what seems like a good option is to go steady with my full time job for the next 5-6 years. Take a break, pursue an another profession which does not demand long hours, travel or such and gives me time to be around the peapod. What that profession should be, no clue yet. I can see a couple of options but not sure 5-6 years down the line if I will still have the same views. While at it, what about 'Take a break now', now that disturbs the synergy of various things like paying off loans, savings etc. If I was confident enough(which I am not) about resuming it some other time, say 2-3 years down the line, maybe I would have opted for a break now. So looks like so far I'm on course. I know this is the only way it works for me but yes I am constantly wondering if there is a better route...all because I don't want to miss peapod's growing years.