Monday, December 27, 2010
Merry Christmas and a Happy First Birthday
Merry Christmas to all of you.
My little one turned 1 this Christmas. We had a small party for close family and friends and it was nice evening with kids all below 5 running around each other while each was trying to reach out to the other breaking their own small barriers of language or moods. My little one was busy running around balloons and other kids.He was pretty cool on his own swinging and clapping to music the whole time untill he finally dozed off totally tired.
It seems like it wasn't all that long back that I was still carrying him. On 24th night after dinner and Christmas shopping when we were back home, P & the peapod slept off almost immediately and me as usual couldn't sleep so watched TV for like untill 3am when the pains kinda started. They were very mild and then again I wasn't sure if indeed these were "the pains". I timed them at almost 40 mins. As soon as the certainty dawned on me, I wanted to sleep for a while(this kind of behaviour is very typical me). Went to bed at around 4:30 and I think I did sleep for a little while in-between pains. When finally the pains started coming in at half hour intervals it was 6:30 am. I mentally listed what needed to be done. We had Christmas breakfast planned - appam and curry - I do not plan many elaborate breakfasts and when I do I will ensure no labour pains was going to stop me. Needed to pack the peapod's clothes as she was to stay at her grandparents place untill I was back and I wondered when would be a good time to inform mom & sis(s) and so on. When I was mentally done, I woke up P to tell him that I seem to be having labour pains. His first reaction was "WHAT ..are your sure? ...but today is Christmas, how can that be" and I was like "Yeah, I know". After breakfast, I kissed the peapod before she left for her grandpa's place. P, me and mom drove to the hospital by 10am. Friends and family kept calling to wish a merry Christmas only to be told I was in labour. The excitement was much. I was admitted by 10:30. In the room where I was admitted for initial examination, I had company in the next bed and the poor girl was screaming her heart out every 5 mins or so. Immediately after the first scream or second and even before the doctor could examine me I had tears running down for absolutely no reason. I wasn't scared one bit of labour pains untill then because I never entertained that one thought in as much detail. I had opted for epidural during the peapod and it was an option this time too but I wanted to try the pain way this time(Who was that who was giving gyaan about pain and gain) but who was I kidding. I wasn't made for stuff like that. I couldn't stop crying every time my neighbour screamt and in an hour after I was admitted and the pains were coming at like every 15 mins I requested for epidural. All that the hubby needed was an sms to quickly sign the form. Mom was in a difficult situation, she couldn't see me cry and nor could she stay out leaving me alone untill my Aunt(Dad's brother's wife) came in. Every time mom came in she tried hard to look all calm to me and kept telling me to recite psalms 91, I am sure she was. I was exhausted with the pain and the crying and ofcourse lack of sleep. Soon after the epidural I think I slept for like an hour. And then by around 12:30 I could feel intense contractions. Though I couldn't feel the intense pain but I could feel the contractions and some pain(I think) and the tears were back.Soon I was moved to the delivery room. After 4 pushes and amongst sweat and tears the little one was born a little after 1pm. When I first saw him, he was all bundled up and I was too tired to feel anything. I kissed him and I think I passed out. I was in there for an another hour or more and then moved to the private room. The boy was much fussed over by all and initial comparisons were drawn. I had no cuts and post-pregnancy was a lot easier than the first time. Feeding, sleeping, walking, handling the baby all was familiar territory this time. I almost enjoyed my post delivery oil massages and bath and rest. I made the most of it since I knew this would be the last time I had the luxury of a whole month of oil massages and hot herbal water bath. Most nights I would be sleeping with the peapod and mom with the little one untill I had to get up for the feed. I took rest a lot more seriously this time and did give my back good rest since unlike last time this was luxury that I had come to appreciate.
Its been a year since that day and I can not thank the good lord for 2 beautiful healthy babies that he has blessed me with. I wanted a girl the second time as well and that wish actually stemmed from the fact that I believe siblings of the same gender bond very well and stay bonded all their life. I have seen my mom and her sisters, my father and his brothers, me and my sisters, my cousin brothers. The relationship is easy, its not the customary birthday/festive call but just the every day or random nonsensical call that helps be a part of each other's life. Call or drop in because you feel like talking or meeting rather than awaiting your turn to call or drop in or feeling obliged to pay a visit. For a brother and a sister to stay bonded its easy during early years but most of them move separate ways as they grow older and once married serious efforts need to be made to stay in touch. In the past one year I am not sure how many times I have thought about this and wondered what could I do to help them build a rock solid and easy relationship. I still don't know "HOW" but I know I want them to feel comfortable enough to confide their darkest fears in each other. I want them to be there for each other such that neither ever feels lonely. I don't want them to use us as their mode of communication with each other. I want them to talk to each other because they genuinely want to hear each other, feel each other and stand by each other.
My granny(mom's mom) is very proud of the fact that her 3 daughters and their kids mingle around all too well. She would very proudly tell anyone who cares to listen that cousin B is with Aunt B and Aunt B's daughter is(was) staying with us and how I stayed with Aunt B for a while. When my mom called my aunt(her sis) in bbay to tell her I was in labour and we were going to the hospital, she immediately sensed my mom's tension and abandoned her Christmas day plans to be beside my mom. My father and his brothers had a equally strong bond. Recently I was told by my cousin's wife that she has heard more about my father than my uncle(his father) from my cousin. That is very touching and it speaks volumes of his love for dad. And to think that at a time I used to be scared he would back answer dad since dad used to be ruthless criticizing him and taking him to task. We or anybody else have no role to play in that bond. There are all kinds in a family and its never a sooraj barjatya movie with only song and dance. These bonds grew inspite of the circumstances, inspite of the various personalities around and inspite of all kinds of issues, differences one could have. A hug, a call, a word of comfort is all you need at all times in your life. Its comforting to know, there is someone who wishes the very best for you even when they are in the dumps. Everyone fights their own battles and demons but to know you have support in your family base makes you 10 times stronger. I realize, just like my granny, my mom, my dad, I too want my kids to be there for each other ALL THE TIME, ALL THROUGHOUT LIFE, COME WHAT MAY.
It will be our continuous endeavour with fervent prayers to help the kids build a relation that will last them a lifetime. If we succeed that will be our gift to both of them for many many birthdays even when we are not around.