Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Is Love all you need?

Let me narrate a small incident. I have a colleague who sits close to my bay. He got engaged recently. So as expected the guy is mostly on the phone. His conversations aren't very low and I am not deaf so I like many others hear him not less than 5 times a day mushing away to his fiance. What irritates me, other than the fact that he is mushing away loudly, is that he always seems to be yelling at the girl with off-beat dialogues like "Do you have any brains?", "Are you stupid", "Hey idiot" and so on. He is not kidding. He is serious. They are discussing marriage preps, they are discussing relatives visitng each other and that is when these pearls-of-wisdom come up. I get so irritated with the way he talks & tries to command her around.

Now I was so irritated one afternoon after over hearing one such conversation, I just asked him why is he so rude. The reply was "Oh thatz ok, don't worry. I love her a lot and I will take good care of her". I smiled and did not continue the conversation. The gentleman thinks if you love your partner, that is all she needs.

A wife needs to be respected and loved. Respect being as important as love if not more important. Guys who think that they are the man of the house and the women folk know nothing and degrade them in front of a crowd are basically insecure about their ownself and self worth. These are the men who have ego issues with women in the team & women leading the team because in all probablitlity they are thinking "She should be in the kitchen and I should have been in her chair". This probably was the norm dragon years ago, surely not now. And I am more surprised at this girl, well-educated and well traveled for taking in this kind of a behaviour, not that she is already married and needs to re-think tons of things before taking a harsh step forward. I think when you accept, you are responsible for the beast in the making. It basically shows your low-esteem too.

Coming back to my question, Is Love all you need? Is love enough to live a life togather? Would you sacrifice your self-respect for love?

13 comments:

B o o said...

No, No and No! :) Partners should be more respectful to each other before an audience, according to me! This is the classic case of "I have gotta girl whom I can call names and get away with it and shes so cool about it"! He ll come to senses soon enough! ;)

Usha said...

First of all I would be very suspicious of the kind of love that makes him say things like that to her.And ya, why is she taking it from him?
Two years after marriage when the initial euphoria has evaporated, this very same behaviour will cause trouble and the guy wont have a clue why she is making a fuss now?

Sue said...

Still on the sleep thing, I had an that I thought might help:

Maybe she only needs one, longer, nap? Why don't you try a 10 min lie-down next to grandma instead of any one nap? She lies down still and hears a story or something? That way they both get a little rest and there's no patting.

Biju said...

in my opinion, if u *really* do *love* some1, it should mean that you respect her/him, accept her/him as is. Looking at it that way, yes love is all you need. :-) That guy might take care of her, but I can't agree that he loves his fiance.

Sunita said...

@boo: How can anyone be cool about being insulted in public and that too by your partner, I fail to understand.
@usha: Very true. This behaviour should be tackled right in the begining of the relationship
@Sue:I am trying :). Will keep you posted on the devs. Thanks for the concern.
@biju: I agree with you on your doubt about if he really loves her, for love to last, it needs to be cemented with respect.

Hip Grandma said...

we get women who regularly get beaten up and love their men for the thrashing they give.If he doesn't beat her up black and blue she feels that he's got himself another woman to beatup.If this is the attitude then all talk of feminism is futile.We have dialogues like'he's my husband and can do what he wants with me.who are you to ask." and our sobbing sisters watch this nonsense .Let me stop here.my blood boils.

Hawkeye said...

who is this young girl, who disagrees with the Beatles :-) ? In those days when the Beatles say something, its considered as the final word on the topic.

All you need is Love.

On a serious note, people (esp guys) who talk loudly on phone during their engagement phase is a severe nuisance. I was once driving from Dallas to Houston, with a newly engaged donkey as co-passenger. This donkey kept braying corny love dialogs on the phone for 4 hours. The windows were up and I couldn't play music because he was on phone. Imagine my plight. I so wanted to veer my car and crash somewhere to stop the agony.

Sunita said...

@HHG:That dialogue should go into the weirdest book of world records for being said when being defended while being beaten black n blue.
@Hawkeye:Thanks for dropping by. young girl?? who me?? Thatz a very old pic.
"newly engaged donkey as co-passenger"
ROTFL.

mommyof2 said...

If there is no respect, love doesn't count...

Risha said...

yeah it surprises me when some ppl do tht..and my blood boils when the gal does not complain.

Sunita said...

@mommyof2: Absoltely.
@risha: That is something I can't understand either. why do girls accept these kind of behaviours

Just like that said...

Absolutely not. Respect comes with Love.

I know my husband respects me as a person and always takes my opinions into consideration, but even so I get irritated with his calling me 'edi' at times. I flare up and he tells me that it is out of love..!!
Well, it might be, but I have a name...would he like it if I called him 'eda'?

Sunita said...

jlt: Respect should emerge from love else what love is that.