Here’s my thing. If you let someone hit you, you are as much to blame. Stand up. Speak up. Fight back. Kill the bastard. Shove a knife through his eye when he’s asleep. Don’t let him break you down. Don’t let him break your spirit along with your bones. Ask for help. Don’t be ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed of. He has everything to be ashamed of. Do not let him tell you that he is sorry. That it was an accident. That he won’t do it again. And again. And again. Do not let him make you feel that you ‘asked for it’. Don’t let him tell you that all marriages go through a little violence. Don’t let him tell you he is ‘disciplining you.’ Please. I beg of you. Walk away if nothing else. For your own sake.
There is no excuse for letting the beast empower you. Take a walk, shut your mouth, drink water, sing to yourself. Do anything that distracts you before you transform into a beast. Walk away from the situation if you think you can not handle or control yourself. Get yourself help if you find yourself frequently in the same state of mind.
Fight back with vengeance the first time you are hit to ensure your spouse knows the consequences(walk out, slap back, call the police) if there is a second time. Its generally an argument going wild in households with no issues around alcohol or insanity. If you do not raise hell the first time, there will be a repeat sooner or latter. Your silence after a physical abuse will be considered as your acceptance of the beastly behaviour. So do not shut up & sulk. Defend yourself. Seek help. And be on your guard after the first time.
Admist your fight do not loose your 'spirit'. Live life to the fullest with or without your spouse. Don't waste it sulking, nagging and living a sad life.
Domestic violence is highest among people like you and me, eduacted & rationale, as this report suggests. So the bottom line is
Physical abuse should not be tolerated. It should not be justified. PERIOD.