Tuesday, January 03, 2012

To 7 years of Love and companionship and for 7 more

Last week we completed 7 years of married life and this is the first anniversary post. Reasons are plenty, I am generally on leave during christmas week and I hardly use the laptop at home. After 7 years and after umpteen ups and downs, I think I can comfortably say we have found our equilibrium. Yeah we both have matured enough not to take a random remark and run away with it into the past alleys. We are not the romantic couple and we don't do romance the material way. As in the gifts and surprises and the works MBs are made of but let me just say we have our ways. The flowers come sometimes on an unsuspecting day for no reason at all though they have never come on a birthday or anniv. He charges my cellphone. Somedays he even puts it in my bag. He even carries my bag if I am having a bad day. He ensures I don't leave the house in my slippers. He reminds me of stuff I have asked him to remind me days ago. He even gives my head a good massage when it aches and so on. Small stuff here and there and it matters.


We have moved from the "trying to talk to the other and see the other's POV" to talking to self and understanding our own POV, since the "other" doesn't listen anyway. He is the ambitious, focused and a totally idealistic goat and I am the Gemini whose focus is on way too many things/subjects and certainly not an idealist by a long shot. Maybe a very very long shot. Maybe not even then. We often joke, marriages got be made in heaven because how on earth can anybody put two of us togather and scribble "May no man seperate what God put togather" on our invitation cards - yeah right. We have pulled off this gig this far quite ok and I hope we'll be better off in the years to come. 7 years of marriage, 2 wonderful kids, handful of travels and umpteen experiences, as a couple we have come a long long way.

I love to travel, he prefers TLC to actually sweating it out. I love fiction and he loves encyclopedia. He is a foodie and loves his food nicely and rightly spiced. I have become a better cook trying to conjure up stuff to challenge his taste buds. While he says pretty much nothing, but the kind of silence tells me, how it was. And if he even as much as whimpers something unpleasant about something I toiled an hour for, he would get a earful. I am a sore looser. But everytime I am in the kitchen, I am upto the challenge :). He is punctual and does not like last minute hurry and furry and I kind of pretty much manage "on time" at the last minute. So if we were to go out some place at 10 in the morning, he would be ready dot 9:30 with car keys in one hand and the lock in the other, with the door wide open. And I would still be in my nightie and the breakfast would still be on the stove and there will be atleast a dozen items minimum I need to accomplish before I can make my way out of that door he is holding. More often than not, I rush out of that door in my slippers and then go back for the change in footwear, my cell and that lip gloss and that purse and that spare tiffin. We have had, I am not sure how many arguments about time and timming. These arguments have now moved from heated arguments to routine arguments like one would say "Good morning" or "Thank you". He is an introvert who does leisure very well and likes his space and I am an extrovert and love people and chatter.

He is the new age father. He is as involved with the kids as I am. He teaches the peapod on some days and I do the rest. He teaches her to colour, paint and count odd/even numbers. He plays football with the kids, while I ferry the peapod around for classes, parties, practise and the kinds. He reads to the chattambi, he bathes them, entertains them, disciplines them. He is the one to fuss over a little cold or cough. He feeds them as well based on how easy it is and if they are in the mood. He overestimates the kids and I underestimate them. As soon as the peapod learnt her numbers he was the one trying to teach her addition and subtraction. And I didn't realize she knew the numbers 50-100 untill she started spelling them out for me. Atleast 15mins is dedicated to the debate of the day every single day. We both love a good argument and a good debate. Since nothing noteworthy is left to be debated on the home front these days, we debate on national issues and debate about people who are debating. The chalk and cheese couple we are, you can bet we always end up against each other and are never on the same side except for cricket and that too when India is playing any other country. Any other game, it needs to be said - we are always cheering opposite teams. And also I am the one shouting and clapping at the fall of a wicket or a boundary, he just has a smile for about half a sec. If he switches off the TV while the match is on, yes that means Tendulkar is out and there is no hope. So he is more of a silent and calm person unlike me who is loud and pompous.

One of the test of a relationship, I have read, is to know if you look forward to getting back home after a day at work or are you just dilly-dallying at work or outside and try to get in as late as possible. If that is any indicator then we are going pretty strong because even if we are sulking we are back home at the earliest possible. And conversation is plenty. There is no dearth of topics... politics, cricket, religion, church, school, kids, books, places, people and so on. I wouldn't say we contribute 50-50 to this partnership, its mostly 60-40, some days I am the 40 and the other days he is. We just pick off where the other left off and get on. Not always but lets say mostly.

He hates me putting up his snaps on my blog. So guess what, I am going to showcase some of his paintings today in the order in which he started painting them over the last 2-3 years. I wish he would do more. I have framed a couple of them to adore our walls.










9 comments:

Sumana said...

Lovely post Sunita. Belated wishes on your Anniversary. So well described, i kept nodding in a lot of places. Especially the over and under estimation part with kids is so apt in our case as well.I am sure the little things matter and why not. We should not always take things for granted and to list down little things shows how much you care for him as well. Wishing you guys many many more fun filled years of togetherness.

Sunita said...

Thanks Sumana

Risha said...

hey belated Anniversary wishes to both of you. Lovely post :) Wish both of you of many many such years to come along.

Sunita said...

Thanks Risha

Pushpa said...

oh the 7 years thingy....congratulations(don't say same to u now wink wink)...

gwl said...

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T Singh said...

I also paint, but yours is really good! Some indian woman told me that india woman dont paint, but know I see that they are jeulus of me and meen people...because youre india woman and you paint. Maybe you are more free to do want you want.

vaidegi j said...

Loved the entire post. Was sweet and delicate and filled with love and warmth! :)

Wishing you many more years of married bliss!

Vidya @ Whats Ur Home Story said...

Happy (belated) Anniversary Sunita! May you have many more. Sounds so much like us. After almost 12 yrs of marriage the story is the same around here. The no gift giving yet does little things, the kids tutoring stuff, 60-40,the going somewhere on time argument (so so true), extrovert introvert things; everything rings a bell. I guess one part of the equation is the same, may be that is why. He is the goat and I am the water bearer. Anyway it was really nice. There is so much wisdom in your post for all the newly weds!