Its been a year & I am still numb with feelings. Cant believe I have been married for a year now.
Mr P, wonders loudly at times, how did he end up agreeing to marry a feminist like me .... but ..... firstly I dont agree I am a feminist and secondly he doesnt remember "agreeing (explicitly)" to marry me. so then maybe, thatz what "made in heaven" is all about uh! :)
After 1 year of marriage ....
Its still difficult to cultivate the "My husband-My wifey" kinda feeling.
We are just friends the difference being "We live togather" & fight a lot. Initially we used to have a 3 to 4 day gap max before which we were bound to end up head along. Now-a-days travelling takes up a lot of time & energy .... puts our schedule all haywire ...cant monitor it that closely.
Hez the one to whom when I talk about people/friends/relatives, my feelings about people I meet, discuss opinions/perspectives on social issues, bloggers I like, books I read(you know the kind of things lovey-dovey couples in movies & magz do)..... tells me "God, please not again, you have already told me this" and then I go on to tell him "I know, I do that and tell him how I kept telling Hansi for a whole year that I bought a digital camera" and he cuts me in between with "you have told me that too". (my friend was a lot patient)
Someone with whom I fight tooth to tooth, bitter and bad and frank opinions on the face & sometimes just say mean things to get back at each other.
I listen to someone daring to tell me how weird & orthodox my thoughts are.
We fight like we dont care if it ended here and then make up the next day or the day after or atleast the day after that. The living togather factor just takes away a lot of options like "avoid each other", "prolonging feeling of irritation", "keep poisoning your own mind againist the other" ......... all these nicities you cannot afford when living under one roof. Also when you are staying with your parents you cannot have the luxury of throwing things at each other, or breaking his prized posessions or yelling loudly but then that invites a lot of creativity wherein you can make the least noise but the max impact.
And we argue about how the other person isnt caring or understanding or whatever is the adjective only for the other to start listing things under the specific category that each does. (Mind you, this takes a lot of memory & spontaneity to recollect and analyse it to fit the specific category under scrutiny at that point of time.)
All said & done, I think, I accept now hez family.....how else can anyone get away with all the mean things said & done. Now if thatz the husband-wifey kinda feeling then maybe ..... :)