Monday, December 19, 2005


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

"We will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

These 2 proverbs probably echoed my thoughts as a Teenager. In school, college, home, church probably till my early twenties. If I had an opinion I had to say it. Debates & elocutions were my favourites. Every issue was taken so personally & I was

adamant at making sure the other person understood and I also lost a debate bcoz I kept repeating myself and stressing the same points, all bcoz I thought no one understood or agreed to my point of view (should have concentrated on the award).

Then I heard these & Observing people react grew on

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much."

"No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut."

And then I still had an opinion but would have my take on mouthing it or not. Even now it matters if the other person understands but then I concentrate & try more on saying as little as possible while conveying the message.The advantage of saying the least is there is very little space for others to mis-understand and mis-interpret.

Couple of scenarios

1) OK, I am discussing an issue, I take a stand on it just for the heck of it(old habbits die hard), the other person has a point and I agree(actually), I realize I am talking bull-shit and dont wanna drag it any longer, I just bcom silent & leave
it to the opposition to make whatever he/she wants of it. But thatz the same reaction when I am really mad and cant say any more but then I would want to trust the person's instincts to play the record thru latter with a cooler head.

2) In the same scenario above after an hour you could also say ...thatz exactly what even I am trying to say and make the opposition look like a complete ass. Thatz again when I go silent and stare wishing I could tie that person's hands and legs to a pole and practise some boxing shots.

3) Next, OK, I just heard something and I totally didnt like the idea but have to play along for whatever reasons and I react, infact I over-react and my voice is rising and I hear a inner-voice "SHUT UP ....... You are over-reacting". And then
I just shut up & get back to a good mood but then I have managed to switch off the other person completely and the person has no clue of my angel called "inner-voice" and calls me a devil & a hypocrite. Maybe should work your way out of the argument and admit upfront then maybe you wouldnt be accused of being a hypocrite

4) I am arguing but inspite of having a valid point the other person's authoratative, repeative arguments at a decibel piercing into my ears and I have no mood to match that bcoz it would almost resemble one of thoes scenes in mahabharat during the war where 2 soilders raise their bow & arrow and keep yapping mantras for an entire episode with stupid 5 advs in between and then shoot only to meet in mid air with some sparkles and disappear with the title song. what a dissappointment!!!

5) Someone is mad at you & you just remain silent for the entire sermon, give no reaction but act dumb and deaf. Helps save a lot of energy and you can meanwhile keep collecting all the ammunition that were hurled your way. Hurl it back latter
periodically.This would have the max effect & satisfaction. You said this and I kept quiet and You said this which means "and your own bullshit interpretation". And surely since it was a sermon, you have lots to mis-understand and twist and turn and
with couple of such twisted statements you can turn the machine Gun and start shooting the long list of what you wantedly mis-understood. This will surely leave the other person spell-bound for sometime bcoz he/she is just trying hard to recollect and wanting to kill themselves for giving you so much ammunition. I have been the victim to many such and learnt my own lessons the hard way.

These are just observations of mine. Use it and know when its being used.

I am a sentimental peace loving person :-).

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