Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Honk Honk

While driving my Honda Activa around here in pune, I never get to honk and I wonder why does it need a horn. I know many of you might be actually raising your eyebrows ...does she have her license yet?? ...does she know to drive?? ...can she take a u-turn ??... ignoring all those I_have_nothing_better_to_ask ppl out here .....I think two-wheelers shouldnot have a horn at all.

let me explain, first of all, Why do we honk?, ok it probably means "Excuse me pls" but do you really get excused is the question. Now who do you think will excuse you? lets start with the famous cyclists ....these are the ones who are never listening and these cyclists usually come in all sizes but the most are in between the age group 8-18 years(the ones who cannot get a license and whoz parents are arrogant enough to get you into trouble if you happen to even touch them) and so you will be actually taking immense care not to bang into them, so even if you honk or not you take all the precausions anyway. second are the fellow-two-wheelers, they dont care and anyway when you hear a honk you have no idea, is the guy gonna pass thru your left or right so after I hear a honk all I do is keep driving as I am driving and leave it to the honker to take over. Thirdly the four-wheelers, they dont give a damn and might choose to honk at you in return some kind of a honking languagge ...

TW: Honk Honk ..."Excuse me pls"
FW: HONNNNNk HONNNK .... " What the hell, you arent suppose to be driving in this lane

so on ...u c ... you can have some pretty creative honking language with the length of each honk and no of honks and most puneites are very familiar with it . Long honks usually invites a look behind and calls for explanation that too thru the mirrors. if caught in a traffic jam, these can be pretty entertaining too.

Once at a signal with a friend who was driving, there was this guy who kept honking ... now thatz a single long honk ofcourse he was calling for attention my friend told him to pls fly over thru the mirror ofcourse.

And lastly the demonly buses and truckwalas of pune, you wouldnt dare honk at them anyway and even if you do actually invite more trouble than space for yourself.

so why do you need that honk ...oh you would say the pedestrains .... and I would want to laugh the famous amrish puri laugh ...ha ha ha ha hee haaa haa haa ....who are you kidding.

So honking is basically something you do to get satisfaction out of driving, like while in the US, where honking is rude, every desi surely would have been honked at and you wait and wait till you get a chance to honk back and you do it with grace and mumble couple of your favourite ryhmes too and thus take your revenge on the country.

After scratching your brains further you might add ... the herd of buffoles or donkeys ...oh yeah, they.... they do stop midway ..look at you.....acknowledge your honk......probably even nod at you if you stand longer and then continue by then you would anyway have to slow down and wait for the dirty-ugly-fat-black buffalo to cross the road.

Now the "DIRTY-UGLY-FAT-BLACK BUFFALO" reminds me of a fierce discussion we had over coffee couple of years back on the terrace of my previous office. I think it was bcoz someone took offense at calling a nice healthy buffalo as dirty-ugly-fat & black.And that explains the "Previous office" for most who were part of that debate.


Risha said...

i think honking is to create music...did u ever notice some college kids having a typical style of honking...i like the way u described the buffalo :)

biju said...

ha ha ha!! yeah, I hate it when people honk for no apparent reason. They actually honk when behind a red signal. Now what the heck is that supposed to mean.
But no, I can't entirely give up my horn. There are too many moronic beings that think jumping into the road, to scare the jitters out of me, is a very natural thing to do..