Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The people, I associate myself with

I recently realized the people I associate myself with these days are mostly all parents. Be it work, be it the neighbourhood, be it blogging, be it church, be it house visits. It just happens naturally.

A couple of years back, I used to run miles from couples or parents in the workplace or any other place like plague. In one of my earlier organization, the whole team I was part of were parents or to-be-parents and all they kept talking about was children, hubby & maid and I used to swallow lunch at the speed of light to excuse myself as soon as possible. I knew the names of their kids, hubby & even maids and it made my skin crawl to endure those conversations. I had to go looking for a different group to have lunch or snacks or tea just to save myself the agony of having to sit through the melodrama of each parent.

Today as a parent, I own one of those skin-crawling behaviours. Anywhere I go, I immediately strike up a conversation with the lady carrying a kid. Prior to having Joyce, all my interest in a guy or girl vanishes as soon as they enter the holy matrimony. After that I have no eye for if they are carrying or if they have one or two and if both got to church, all I would see was a few brats running around in the church during the service or on roads in between traffic, what nonsense, I used to think. Today, I know almost all the mothers with kids between 0-3 in my church by name and place. We talk about what solid food we give, allergies, where they got the tonsure done, where did we get the earshot done or how she is so prone to cold and how he doesn't like his shoes and so on.

I usually take Joyce out for a evening stroll in our area. Guess what, yes, we are a small group of parents SAHMs, WMs who are walking our kids or pushing the pram around. 30 mins of walk, all we talk of is our kids, their peds, who looks after, what do they eat, howz summer treating the little ones and occasionaly about inflation & stores around.

Blogging, Do I need to say anything at all? At work, we all spare time to read/write-up and comments on each others blogs.

At work, we have our team or associates to discuss work or bitch about the boss, but but but the moment someone shows the least bit interest in Joyce I am so happy to get started or even when one realizes x has 2 children, the topic drifts instantly.

x:I think Rahul Gandhi is bound to be the future PM
y:I agree, but at times you wonder if he is being plain childish or executing a plan smartly
z:Oh he is just here because of the name "Gandhi"
p: Its so bloody unfair, they will ruin this country
x:my son Aryan goes ahul ahul every time he sees him on TV
y:really!!!so sweet... my daughter hasn't picked up much words yet
x:Oh! Aryan started speaking at 9 months
y: is it? they say boys speak faster than girls
x: oh no ..its actually the other way round, mil says, her father spoke only when he was 2
z,p,q: (smiling) OK catch you latter then to get back.
y:do you live with your in-laws?
x:yeah,my daughter is with them about Aryan?

MadMomma did this post a while back. She rightly gave it back to the one who said, SAHMs were taking us decades back by sitting at home. I don't think so and I did not read more than the first paragraph of that article itself because honestly its way off the point. Here is something that stayed with me long after I finished reading that response at MMs.

As for the fulfillment... Catch up with a bunch of working people and all you will hear is bitch, bitch, bitch. "My boss is a bastard, I don't get paid enough, the learning in this job is over, I am sick of selling to the client, I am not getting the promotion I deserve, the bonus this year sucks, I am moving jobs because this one bores me to death... "

Catch up with a bunch of SAHMs and each one will be glowing with pride and talking about her child's latest milestone or piece of mischief. All you will hear is laughter and pride and even a competitive streak about whose child is doing better and who is enjoying motherhood more.

Tell me which one sounds more fulfilled.

Working mothers don't just bitch about their bosses at coffee tables, they discuss politics, they discuss the latest trends, they discuss pay,increments, they discuss promotions, they discuss about inflation, they discuss outsourcing, they discuss movies, everything under the sun when they finish with their kids, hubbies, in-laws and maids. I am equally proud of my little one's milestone and love to brag about it just like any one else. It isn't a SAHM, WM thing at all, its about Motherhood.


Risha said...

OK catch you latter then to get back :-)

Rohini said...

I actually try to over-compensate. I am the only mom in my circle of friends at work so I always check myself from talking too much about my baby - I remember how boring I found it when I was a baby. But put me next to another mom, and I am off...

Samvad Vahini said...

Hi Sunita,

I liked ur blog. Was just passing through ur new post and this time felt to put up some comments. I am passing through the phase 1 i.e. running away from the people who are married or on the verge of getting a child!! The first para is so similar to my present situation!! I wonder what will be in future? May be I too will behave in the similar manner, the way you are now!!

mommyof2 said...

we used to socialize alot but after kids our circle has changed.. Now we are into friends where kids can enjoy with their own age group kids:-)

Sunita said...

@risha: he he he, doesn't apply to you.
@rohini: :)....oh I try to not bore ppl with my talks of home or kid.
@ samvad:Thanks for dropping by. Will resonate my feelings when you promote to further phases in life :)
@mommyof2: Thatz probably the next group, socialize with people of children with in the same age group

The Mad Momma said...

I think you misread me.. i said working people - not working mothers!!!

SAHMs also discuss politics, business, literature, trends, gossip... everything..they're not a different species..just a bunch of women making a more family oriented choice who once worked too!!

the point i was making being, that job satisfaction isnt all that its made out to be because most ppl are busy cribbing about their jobs!!!regardless of whether they are men, women, married, single, parents or not!

and of course.. at the end of the day all mothers can only talk abt their kids !!! :)

ams said...

OK catch you latter then to get back :-)
but... i can relate.... now i look for married girls to have lunch with! moreover, shan & I, both look for married couples to hang out with over the weekend!

Sunita said...

@madmomma:People crib about everything, even child rearing, about how thankless a job it is, in a few years we will be blogging about(if we have the time) how children constantly argue and need an explantion for everything but that wouldn't make it any less fulfilling or satisfying. But I can see why we might never agree.
@ams: I am sure you will come back :)