Friday, May 29, 2009

Diet & Parenting

The latest big issue in the peapod-dom, is her diet. Diet caught between 2 different parenting styles, mine & the hubby's.

Peapod, untill she was about 24-30 months was a totally non-fussy eater. She would eat anything we gave her, raw vegetables, diced fruits, rice, chappatis and her fish and chicken. I have never force-fed her ever till date. I don't like the concept of it because I do not have the energy or patience for it. I feed her only when she responds positively to "do you want something to eat?". Sometimes I might peel a cucumber or a carrot and hold it for her and she might pick it up and ask for more or sometimes just ignore it. I offer her food when I am having it or with a 4 hr gap. Its a set routine 8am - 12pm - 4pm - 8pm. If she doesn't have her food at noon, then I wouldn't ask her untill 4ish when its time for the evening snacks. If she skips breakfast(which again is not frequent) she might have something at 10ish. I just don't fuss too much around it. Its been pretty rare that she hasn't had 2 straight meals. I am also not very fond of weight-adding foods like butter or ghee or chicken or eggs. Butter with bread, eggs at breakfast, chicken for lunch or dinner, just like how we would have them. I do not deliberately add them to anything and everything just because I want her to put on weight. That is also because she has a fair diet around everything we have for meals. She is full of energy and is active all the time and that is all I care. I & P have a lot of differences around the peapod's diet. He wants me to add butter/ghee to her food. Make sure she has her chickens & eggs. I do not fuss simply because that is just how I am. I can not. I might do it for a day when I realize she hasn't had anything the entire day, then I might sit with the food threatening to smack her but it is just not my cup of tea to fuss over her all day all night all days. And I think my carefree or non-fussy attitude with feeding has also helped her understand when she is hungry and tell us when she is. And I have no hang-ups about "oh God she must be so hungry to ask" kinds. And she has her food in one go, matter of 15mins or less. Ever since she turned 3 she has begun to fuss over her food. I just took it easy. P worried endless. Her food intake had indeed taken a dive but I didn't see anything in her that would worry me. After the jellybean arrived last week, her food intake has got back to normal. And I realize her turning 3 was end of march when her school closed. She was pretty much out of physical activity at home untill the jellybean arrived last week, so that explains. Milk is the only thing I fuss around. Most days Mom handles that and so for days together I don't need to untill I am told for 2-3 consecutive days she has put up enough drama to avoid it. That is when I get up all in arms. The other reason is I know she is never going to ask me for milk and the answer to "do you want milk?" in a million years will still be "No", so I know there is no hope there. And the reason might be me again. I hate the sight and odour of milk. She seems to have lost weight and ofcourse people make long faces & comment "Dont you give her anything?". But the truth is she has grown tall and her weight is just age appropriate. She is a healthy child. I take pride in the fact that she doesn't fall sick frequently and seems to have a good immune system. No regular cold & coughs. I wouldn't fuss over a running nose if she is fine otherwise. Just make sure she has a handy handkerchief. The last time she was actually sick with a high temperature was in early Jan. Its been like 5 months. God bless, that is good for me.

This difference in our parenting style exists over everything. P is an (extra)careful and (extra)cautious parent while I am the "chalta hai" kinds. All my precautions are totally driven by my instincts for the day and have no fixed rules around anything. I am more about have fun while he is more about "take care". Of the many things I have read about parenting, maternal instincts they always say is often accurate. And nothing else has comforted me more than that one thought. If I am comfortable with the way my child is then I am doing it right. Inspite of all our arguments, 95 times of 100 he lets me have my way :) for which I am thankful to him. I have friends, moms, who parent like the P would like it. And we talk about it all the time and laugh over it with rolling eyes "God you sound just like my hubby".

I might sound like a loony mom who has totally lost it. That is what P thinks too. But I am telling you it works for me, to which he agrees reluctantly.


David said...

If you're interested in discovering your parenting style based on the latest research, please check out the Parenting Style Application by Signal Patterns on

The underlying model developed by our team of psychologists reveals an underlying complexity far richer than just 'strict' or 'relaxed' classifications.

And what's particularly interesting is that you can take the test for a spouse and see where potential conflicts might lie and get advice on how to deal w/them. You can also compare results to your friends'.

Poppins said...

That sounds about perfect. I wish I could be as laid back as you are on everything. I am that way with food primarily because I cannot understand a child that does not eat. I mean, being a foodies myself. Also I have no patience to run behind!

But I'm a bit more fussy about other things than I'd like to be.

Risha said...

:) i am taking lessons from your blogs..for future.

Rohini said...

No, no... don't even think you are loony. You are just the kind of chilled out mom that I aspire to be...