What could I possibly be feeding her

Poppins recently wrote a very nice post on milestone envy. Here is my experience.

There is this family friend we visit once in a while. They have 2 kids, one a school goer and the second a good 4 months older than Joyce. Ever since Joyce was born, the mother & the grandmom have been proding me about what I feed her. For a good 4 months it was just milk and you would think, that was easy. No, but they would ask me,
"Did you give her water"
"No"
"Not even in this heat"
"No"
"When you run errands, what do you give her"
"nothing, I just plan accordingly"
"How about formula"
"sometimes"
"how many times"
and so on, an another visit in a months time, we have the same line of questions. A regular call and the same line of questions. I am questioned, my mil, my mom, P all are questioned in one way or the other and almost one after the other, probably in a different location in the same house. Solid food started and the number of questions rose exponentionally. Now this is how it goes
"So what do you give her"
"pretty much everything"
"what do you give her in the morning"
"whatever we are having for bfast"
"what do you have for breakfast"
sensing I have to go through this, "she has porridge followed by roti"
"what time does she get up"
"6:30"
"when do you leave"
"by 9"
"so within 2 and 1/2 hours she has both"
"YEAH"
"and then"
"then mom takes over"
"so next when does she have food"
"not sure maybe around 10"
"what do you give her at 10"
"anything"
"anything? do you give her fruits?"
............and then ofcourse "do you give fish/meat/milk/soya bean"
This is an excerpt from a real conversation. This was continued till dinner with every little detail she could extract. Other than the fact that this conversation is boring & tiresome, it is very disturbing to have to provide the minutest detail of my child's day at gun point even if its not the least bit harmful.

This is the same conversation I have with the mother everytime I meet her, be it at home, at a marriage, at a function, at church and at the end of it I don't want to be anywhere within 10km radius of where she is.

I am a first time mother and one would think I should be more curious to know what people feed their kids. I am very comfortable with the feeding business. I give her everything we have if it isn't very spicy. I offer her everything I feel she can have and having mom or mil around helps since it gives me the confidence that I am not messing around big time.

I can understand the curiosity of a first-time mom or a mom ready to start solids, I also enquire, but in a very complacent manner and I don't go enquiring at (what seems like) guns-point style. I discuss how-to-wean, how-to-potty-train etc etc but that is because I am not there yet. This sounds more like "Do you feed your child something that I havent noticed or I don't know". I am disappointed for her because I haven't discovered anything that grows only in our balcony on the planet to ensure her she is on track playing James Bond with me. P tells me its just something to talk about. Maybe. Maybe motherhood does that to people. I am sorry to complain but it is not very easy to handle the tons of questions I tell you. Maybe it is also because I am under tremendous pressure(which I hate) while answering her, waiting for her to tell me, oh but thatz not good at all (after all that 'I am comfortable' jazz) or that is so unhealthy(God forbid).

May You Rest in Peace

Piyush breathed his last, yesterday evening. I saw a comment from an anonymous user and I immediately cross checked at http://www.aidmyson.com/blog. I am feeling so numb and sad. I know nothing can comfort the parents. I had been following Piyush's progress through the site and just when things seemed to be going right, this news.

I pray to God to give the parents the courage & peace they need. May the little soul rest in Peace.

A Sea of Change

Last week, Sharon has come visiting us with her mom for a couple of weeks. Joyce was all happy to see an another toddler in the house and was all game for any game. I was happy the way my little girl had no problems sharing her toys or even with any of us carrying Sharon. Joyce is a lot quieter with Sharon around and so no more threatening Ammachy of throwing off her utensils off the balcony or window. Between then and now, that is a week, things have changed a whole 180 degree.

A small cry from Sharon now has Joyce looking downwards pouting her lips and quivering with tears ready to drop. The moment Sharon screams a little louder..mostly for her mom's attention, Joyce starts crying out real loud. That ofcourse freaks out Sharon and then there is a who-cries-louder-and-longer marathon. She has also got possessive with her toys and books. We saw her carry all her toys away from Sharon's reach even when she doesn't plan to play with them. If I or mom is spotted carrying Sharon, she would make sure she is carried as well. If it looked like Sharon might crawl into my mom's lap, she will make it there first. She doesn't mind Sharon being carried as far as she is catered too. When the toddlers see each other after a hour long nap or after one returns from an outdoor trip, they both smile showing off their little teeth and blabbering to each other but all changes with one little scream or an unpleasant noise.

Sharon is still very much crawling and Joyce after all the walk & run is imitating Sharon and crawling around the house on all fours. She has re-discovered crawling. I guess the knees hurt and so she is crawling with her hands and feet.

This last week she has become all the more clingy, holding on to my leg and me literally dragging my leg and her along while doing the chores.Take her below for a walk in the park and she is running off all in the wrong directions(towards the road). She has also been whinning a lot of late (even before Sharon arrived). She makes that whinning noise for no rhyme or reason. When I ask her to shut up, she does promptly, only to start again and check my reaction. Once to amuse her, I blew a strand of my hair on to her face. Now I have her pulling my hair and trying to blow them. While going through where the nose is and where the eyes are I pointed at my eyes(foolish mumma), now everytime I have her poking my eye and pulling my nose when I ask her where the nose or eyes is.

Where is my harmless little sweet innocent child ..I want her back.

My Daddy

It is very painful even today to think of Daddy without my eyes welling up. After he left us I have tried innumerable times to write about him but its just too difficult. There are nights when I long to see him & hold his wrinkled hands and see that smile on his face. For this Father's day I will just pen a few things that typically is my Daddy.

Loving, Giving, Passionate, Hardworking & a very good sense of Humor would probably be the 5 things to describe my Dad.

My Dad has great regard for family. Its only because of him, inspite of having had minimal chances to meet many extended cousins, we still can claim to know them & have that longing to know about them and wish to remain connected with whatever little means available. Many of my mom's extended family(thatz a huge one) who would have met my dad just once, would enquire very affectionately about him & tell us he told me this or that. He was very charming especially with oldies in the family.

The one thing probably he alone has ever done is to cry at my cousin brother's wedding. We were like ..WHAT HAPPENED??? Why is Dad crying and it seems he went all nostalgic about how he was a little boy and now getting married. He left us all stunned for words.

Daddy is known to be a spend thrift in the family. He loved gifting and he never missed a chance. He had good taste too so all he bought was put to good use by all. He was very fashion conscious as well. I got him a swiss watch from switzerland(the one he is wearing in the snap) and he tells me, this is not trendy.Mouth wide-opened, hands thrown out, I went.....WHAT???..He wanted a slim dial ...Yeah thatz my Dad.

He loved his job and was very passionate about owning a firm. Long before he decided to take the plunge, he would bring all kinds of raw materials home and experiment with it. He designed a machine(not sure what its called..Duh!!)to press treated papers under pressure and heat to make laminate-likes. It was designed on paper in our drawing room. He was very inclined towards research and would be constantly finding ways to improve his invention.He finally did start off on his own & risked everything just to do that. He followed his heart. He put in his body & soul to whatever the word "fullest" means. The story of his dream is probably fodder for an another post. I learnt from him to love my job and give it a 200%.

His sense of humour is responsible for his reputation of an easy-going guy for people of all ages. With our casual mannerism my mother was always scared if we would get on first name basis with him. His vile temper is also a known thing. The famous incident of my life was he throwing a plate like a disc, which went past our drawing room to the fields near by. Though he was pretty angry then, we did always made fun of mom wanting to hide all her crockery before getting into an argument with dad.

He could never teach us maths. He never had the patience to let us grasp and he would explain the same stuff in different ways for our advantage which always had us all the more confused. He used to get frustrated with his dumb kids and then there were flying pans and cups in the house. We dreaded those Daddy-teaching days. Very predictably, we will be crying out of frustration in flat 5-10 mins and just wait for the torture to end.

An another incident we have laughed over a zillion times is when my father after spending 2 hours teaching subtraction to my sister in her 2nd grade asked,
You have 10 pencils. I take 2 pencils, how many pencils will remain.
My sister took her time and answered
"8"
Daddy a little happy at the progress asked her,
"8 what??...chakka aano mangaa"..(literally translates to jackfruit or mangoes).
He basically wanted her to say 8 pencils but she was all worked up with the jackfruit, mango thing that suddenly seemed to need a vote....and after thinking for 5 minutes blurted
"mangoes".
My frustrated Dad not knowing what to do next asked her,
"who told you that?",
Completely out of answers my sister came up with the "Gem of answers ever answered in the Thomas household" ..
"God".
And I guess that is when he gave up hope on us.

We could talk anything & everything to Dad. We used to talk about regular job stuff, friends, regular beauty treatments, discuss politics, movies and so on. He was well read and well informed and trust him with good advice on what to buy, features to look for and when to buy kinds.

He loved children and I have seen him play with my nieces and nephews and I miss him for Joyce. I can see him dancing with Joyce in tow. I can see him teasing Joyce by asking her to count his hair(he was bald). Nothing can begin to say how I miss seeing him hold Joyce and Sharon. There is just too much to write and way too many memories but feels good to have penned this bit down.

I think with daughters, fathers get too worked up and worried for their safety as they grow. At the risk of being annouced 'old fashioned', being unreasonable might seem the right way to go. I hope Joyce would have that warm, friendly, cool and can-confide-anything kinda relationship with her Dad when she grows up.

Helplessly Selfish

By convenience, we make sure all in our world gets a piece of us and we of them. Every Sunday is dedicated to Joyce and her paternal grand parents. So every Sunday after church we go to P's place and spend the day there. Both her granny & grandpa fuss over her big time. I try and take a back seat while they decide what to feed, when to feed, if she needs a bath etc etc. She enjoys all the attention and kisses and ice creams ofcourse. Recently, I had things to do and couldn't afford to spend the entire day away so father and daughter say tata-bye and go off. I was perfectly ok. Made perfect sense. Grandparents need to see her every week and she deserves to be fussed and loved by her grandparents.

The problem started after they left. A weird feeling in my heart started unsettling me. Suddenly the heart seemed all heavy, I was overwhelmed and I couldn't even lie down. So after an hour or two, after I wrapped up jobs undone over the week, the lump in my heart just seemed to have grown bigger. I tried hard to keep it easy, it worked for a while and then it was the same again. I missed seeing her in the house. I missed her blabbering. I missed thoes little feet, I missed her presence. I missed her no end.

Since I was unusually quiet, mom was worried if I was feeling alright, or if I fought with P again. I told her I was ok. I tried to get some sleep and told myself should get up only when Joyce is back. What do you know, sleep evades this otherwise sleeping dame. The heart gets heavier and I was on the verge of crying. I thought I will worry mom unnecessarily if she sees me crying so I just moved into the drawing room and switched on the TV. I browsed channel after channel trying to settle on something that would take the focus off. I think I finally got something, but with the sound of any car arriving, I wonder if its them. Everytime I hear the lift, I wonder if its them. Everytime I hear someone outside, I wonder if its them at the door. I wanted her to scream blue murder for dear mumma and come home. God!! I know, plain crazy but it was absolutely out of my control. I just couldn't help feeling any other way.

The irony of this is, I leave her everyday and go to work and don't feel anything like this. I wave tata & throw her flying kisses from below while she waves at us from the window or the balcony. I get to work and am all engrossed. She is a constant thought at the back of my mind, I talk of her to people, I check my blog atleast twice and scroll through for a few snaps, just at random but none of these heart getting heavy business that too for the unemotional & practical me. This happened twice. The second time I thought I should be ok and brushed aside my ealier experience with a 'oh that was the first time' but the second was a re-play and I ended up crying too.

How selfish of me to want my daughter around when I am around at my convenience and feel all betrayed & small when she waves me tata-bye while I am awaiting her at home. I feel sooooo selfish & small and I just can't help it. I know there are many more such to come but I am not ready yet baby. Till then I will tag along eveywhere you go when I am home.

We got this 'HUNK' home

Yes the HUNK, ACER Aspire 5050.

We have been contemplating to buy a laptop forever(last 8 months). I have been harassing people asking for the brand they own, popular features, must-haves, prices in countries my friends reside/visit and ofcourse answering the "Why do you really need it?" once every fortnight when the search & research seems to get frantic and worry P about what his wife is upto. The answer ofcourse used to be, "This PC conked off, I need to blog after Joyce is asleep" and when this doesn't seem convincing and he has the "What the heck" look on his face I go about "...oh and yeah you can study" and that mostly always made sense.

So finally the laptop arrived with an additional 2GB pen drive and an optical mouse as a complementary gift. We love our loot. I have a couple of things with respect to the blog on my mind and will get to work with help from all who can extend a hand. Joyce loves to see herself using the webcam. Every time she sees it, she breaks into a jingle. I hope the excitement ends there.

My Baldie

Joyce’s curly hair was a riot. It could be tamed only after a bath and couldn't even be attempted otherwise. Joyce was born with hardly any hair. In a year it grew in length & grew wild but not all around. The curls make it look thick but it isn't actually. The Grannies kept saying, shave it once, apply egg white and just wait and watch thick black hair growing back. We kept postponing the tonsure because it almost seemed like a crime to us. We couldn't visualize out little girlie bald. But we gave in to good advice against that unruly curly hair and patches of scant hair. I had enquired with moms in our area about the barber & his parlor.

We did not start off planning to go to the barber but when we were in that area, P and I just looked at each other and said, ok, lets just do it. It was a men's AC parlor. P sat in front of the mirror, Joyce, unaware happily hopped on to P's lap. The barber (or should I call him the stylist) came with the hair cutter machine and asked P to hold her head. As soon as the barber started shaving, Joyce started screaming and crying making us feel like dirt with every tear rolling down her cheek. She was throwing me, accusing looks while I was hovering around blabbering nonsense about how its ok and it will be over soon. P was worried if she was ever going to talk to him. She refused to look into the mirror even when I hugged and kissed her. She had her lips quivering every time I touched her head. She refused to look at P. Once in the car, she was quiet but very unhappy.

Since it was an unplanned event, when we got home, mom was all surprised and did the famous Sushmita-won-the-universe-crown pose and the tear floods opened wide open once again. In a days time, she was fine, I was fine and so was P. Phew!!!

Initially, she did not want to look at the mirror and even if we forced her, she would simply look away. In 2 days, she was pretty ok and I don't feel as bad as I thought I would about my baldie. Her soft spot is still visible.

So lets ask my baldie a few questions ..what say?

Mumma: Hi Joyce!!



J: Hi!!

Mumma: Where is you taklu??



J: Here

Mumma: Show us your taklu??



J: See

Mumma: Were you scared



J: Shit scared

Mumma: I am so sorry we had to force you darling



J: You dare not try again

Mumma: And what are you doing now?



J: Oh nothing and enough now, I have closed my eyes so that you don't see anything more.

Right!! Thank you anyway.

I Quote...

..Pune Newsline dated 27th May carrying a front page article with Saif Ali Khan speaking his mind.

"I am surprised smoking isn't illegal, it is as addictive as heroine."

Oh!! and making it illegal will help you is it?? I am surprised.

Oh I absolutely adore Saif as an actor. Most Saif movies I have watched were all entertaining and his timming with humour is just fab but this jazz....comeon.